


I still believe there’s a right time for everything, even us.

by lydiamxrtin



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brainwashed Bellamy Blake, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:29:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lydiamxrtin/pseuds/lydiamxrtin
Summary: Bellamy searches Clarke's mind for the location of the Flame but along the way discovers new information that could change everything between them.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 83





	I still believe there’s a right time for everything, even us.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bellamyblakru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamyblakru/gifts).



> So this fic follows 7x11 and in this Becho have broken up before this scene takes place! 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy and thank you to @bellamyblakru for listening to me rant about this fic and encouraging me to keep going!🥺

Clarke struggled against the guards as they dragged her out of the room. Their grip on her arms tightened as she thrashed against their hold. "Let me go!" Clarke cried, trying to dig her heels into the floor but her shoes just slid across. Clarke looked up at the guards in their white uniforms neither of there faces showing any emotion. Clarke saw a white door at the end of the hallway growing closer, she felt a sinking feeling her chest  _ She knew what that meant; the M-Cap,  _ "No, no please don't do this," Clarke shouted, pulling harder against her guards trying to do anything to get out of their grip. The door opened, Bill stepping out, his hands behind his back. "I don't have the flame okay, we-we destroyed it," Clarke tried to reason, shaking her head. 

Bill tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowed, "You've lied to be before Clarke, I can no longer trust you,"

Clarke felt her lip begin to tremble, shaking her head quicker, "Please you don't have to do this, just let my friends go-" The guards dragged Clarke into the room, Bill walking next to her. 

"Once we know the truth, your friends can go." He calmly said. 

Clarke went to say something when her eyes caught someone stood by the machine. Clarke felt her eyes begin to well; her fighting stopped. "Bellamy!" She cried. Bellamy looked at Clarke, she hoped to see something, anything that was Bellamy but it was like looking at an empty shell. "Bellamy please don't let them do this," She sobbed as the machine grew closer, her eyes still fixated on Bellamy. "What did you do to him!?" Clarke spat at Bill. The guards dragged Clarke to the chair, pushing her in it and holding her down as they strapped her in, the headband digging in her forehead. 

Bill stepped up the stairs, standing next to Clarke's head as she stared up at the machine looming overhead. "Clarke if you cooperate we will let your friends go," Bill said, staring down at Clarke. Clarke felt sick as he stared down at her, Clarke turned her head away catching Bellamy's eyes.

"Bellamy-" Clarke whispered, hoping she could get through to him, hoping she could see something in his eyes but he just stared through her.

"He won't help you, Clarke, he's loyal," She heard Bill say but she still didn't look at him, her eyes staring at Bellamy. "Now, please just relax and this will go much easier," He calmly said, "Now focus on the mind drive," He said, stepping down the platform.

"Go float yourself," Clarke called trying to sound a strong as she could but as she heard the machine start-up she felt her resolve starting to crumble.

"Clarke if you want to protect your friends, and I know you do, you'll show me where the mind drive is," He said, staring up at the screen with one of the disciples and Bellamy.

"Stop this-" Clarke started to say as a sharp pain coursed through her brain, like a thousand tiny needles stabbing her brain. "BELLAMY," Clarke cried, part of her still sure Bellamy would help, that he wouldn't let this happen to her; they always protected each other.

_ Clarke walked forward rushing towards Jasper when the ground beneath her gave away, Clarke falling until she felt something wrap around her wrist. Clarke's head threw up to see Bellamy holding her hand, the only thing stopping her from certain death was Bellamy. For a slip second, Clarke thought he would drop her but then he pulled her up. The pair looked at each other; he'd saved her. _

Clarke gasped, the memory flooding her mind. Clarke squeezed her eyes shut trying to push those memories away, push any memories away not wanting to give the disciples anything. Clarke felt another pain in her mind, causing her to gasp again. "Just do what they say, Clarke," Bellamy said, his voice sounding indifferent. Clarke looked over at him, his eyes almost glazed over as he spoke to her; no emotion, no hint that they were anything but strangers. 

_ Clarke stood at the dropship door, feeling the warm breeze swell around her. "Need anything?" Bellamy asked as he came towards the door. Clarke tilted her head to the side a little, "Some medicine would be nice." She joked, her body and mind feeling drained. She watched as Bellamy smiled, ducking his head a little. Despite her shitty mood and low energy, she felt her own smile grow.  _

_ "I’ll see what I can do." He smirked, nodding his head. Clarke's smile grew a little more and for the first time she didn't see a foe in front of her, but a friend.  _

Clarke shook her head, "STOP" She cried, her hands wrapping around the chair. 

"Show me the mind drive, Clarke," Bill ordered. Clarke used all her will to not show the memory, hearing the screen crackle and flicker as it searched for a memory she wouldn't allow. Clarke tried to focus on anything else, anything that wasn't the mind drive; that wasn't Madi.

"This isn't you Bellamy!" Clarke pleaded. Bellamy just looked at Clarke, nothing to suggest he even heard her. 

"This isn't going to work Clarke," Bill called next to Bellamy. He placed his hand on his shoulder. "Bellamy understands what is important," He said. "Just give us the key Clarke," Bellamy asked like it was just a simple request. "We can stop this war, together," He almost pleaded. It was then another memory managed to push its way through her mind, appearing on the screen. Clarke watched as her hand gripped around the leaver at Mount weather, the feelings of uncertainty and guilt washing over her again like she was there. She looked over at Bellamy who was also watching the screen, his brow furrowed; the first sign of emotion she'd since he had been back. On the screen Bellamy's hand wrapped around hers, their eyes locking together.  _ "Together,"  _ Bellamy said on the screen, and Clarke felt the familiar feeling of comfort wash over her, but it only lasted a few seconds as the reality set in. 

"Bellamy that isn't you!" Clarke tried again as the memory faded from the screen, flickering on the image of the pair. "You don't want this!" She screamed, tears starting to track down her face. "

"Clarke if you tell us where the flame is, this will stop," Bellamy calmly replied, starting to walk up the stairs towards her. "We can win the finale war," He said, repeating Bill's words. Bellamy came to stand next to her, his head tilted to the side staring down at her. 

"Bellamy, whatever they've done, whatever they've said, deep down you know this isn't right," Clarke begged, "You're my-my best friend," Clarke whispered in a broken voice. The screen lit up again, Clarke own voice sounding out across the room. 

_ "We've been through a lot together, you and I. I didn't like you at first. That's no secret."  _ Clarke watched as Bellamy's eyes drifted to the screen as well, his head tilted to the side as he watched them speak, back before their world was turned to dust. " _ But even then, every stupid thing you did, was to protect your sister. She didn't always see that, but I did." Clarke's voice echoed.  _ Clarke pulled her eyes to Bellamy, who was watching wide-eyed his eyes for, a second seemingly unglazing, emotion flooding in.

_ "You've got such a big heart, Bellamy."  _ Clarke felt her lip starting to trembling as she heard her own words, she squeezed her eyes shut as tears spilt out running down her face.  _ "You inspire them because of this." Clarke reached out and placed her hand on Bellamy's chest, "But the only way to make sure we survive, is if you use this too." She reached up and tapped her finger on the side of her head, noticing as her other fingers brushed against his cheek. Bellamy smiled at her as he hand fell from his face. "I've got you for that." He softly said. _

Bellamy looked away from the screen and back at Clarke, "You've still got me, Bellamy," Clarke cried, Clarke released her hands from around the arm of the chair, holding a shaking hand out towards Bellamy. Bellamy just looked down at her hand, Clarke wasn't sure if it was the pain or wishful think but she could have sworn she saw his hand twitch next to his side. "You're too important to me," Clarke cried, "Don't make me lose you," She begged.

_ "283 lives for one. She must be very important to you," Diyoza said, looking across at Bellamy as Clarke was crumpled up on the ground. Clarke managed to pull her head up and looked at Bellamy, who's eyes were focused on her's, almost as if they were on only two in Eden, "She is," he said, his voice unwavering. _

The memory once again caused Bellamy to look at the screen, his eyes focusing on Clarke's face as she lay on the ground. "You-you were willing to sacrifice 283 people for me, because that's who you are!" Bellamy stepped forward and studied the screen more, his head tilted to the side. "You do ANYTHING for your people," Clarke called. Bellamy turned around and Clarke felt her chest tighten as she noticed the glassiness of his eyes. 

"And that was wrong," Bellamy said, his voice having the smallest hint of emotion, "No one's life is worth more than someone else, and no one's life is worth more than stopping this war," Bellamy recited, his words not sounding like his own.

Clarke felt the anger start to build in her chest, her brows pulling together as she cried, "We promised Monty we'd-we'd do better," Clarke gritted her teeth as another wave of pain drove through her, almost making her convulse off the seat.

Bellamy stepped closer to her, "And we will by stopping this war-"

Clarke frantically shook her head ignoring the pain that blasted through it, "We'll all die Bellamy, all of us-" 

"And it will be worth it," Bellamy said. Clarke couldn't believe what she was hearing, she just stared up at him her eyes unblinking. Bellamy looked away, almost as if he couldn't bear look at her.

"Bellamy you can fi-fight this," Clarke yelled, "I won't lose you," She whispered not even sure he heard it.

Clarke saw herself on the screen, kneeling down on the ground holding her neck as Josphine stood in front of her, Bellamy's voice swelling around her. " _ No, I'm not losing you again. Come on Clarke, come on" He cried _ .  _ "Clarke I need you, Madi needs you! Now wake up!" Clarke could hear the desperation in his voice, wanting nothing more than to talk to him but instead she lay dying in her mind space, her energy slowly fading away. "Clarke! Come on! I'm not letting you go. You're a fighter! Now get up and fight!" Bellamy's words were like a lifeline, something to hold onto; something to fight for. He needed her she told herself, he believed in her.  _

Clarke watched as the screen changed, Clarke's eyes opening as she lay on the makeshift gurney, a dishevelled and worried Bellamy looking down at her.  _"Clarke?" He asked._

Clarke watched herself as she threw her arms around his neck, burrowing her head in his neck,  _ "The head and the heart." She whispered with all the strength she had, her arms clutching to him scared if she let go he might disappear. _

Bellamy was watching the screen from where he stood, his eyes visibly teary, his face almost matching the one of the screen before her. "You were my heart, and you saved me," Clarke said with a small sob, her mind still trying to keep her memories of the flame locked away.

Bellamy finally turned back to her, his face one of panic. "And I'm trying to do that now," He said his voice breaking as he spoke, "Please Clarke just-just show them where the flame is," He begged, his rigid resolve starting to crumble.

Clarke felt her lip trembling, "You know I can't" She whispered. 

Bellamy stepped closer to the chair, his body pressed close to the chair. "Clarke I-if you keep fighting this machine will-will-" Bellamy couldn't even speak the words, them getting lost in his throat. 

Clarke nodded, her lips pressed tight together. "I know," She finished.

Bellamy just looked down her, his eyes deep with fear. Bellamy reached his arm up, placing his hand on her arm. Clarke looked down at his hand which was gripping her arm, she could feel his thumb smoothing her bare skin. A tear trickled down Bellamy's face, pausing on his jaw. "Don't make me watch you die," Bellamy begged. Clarke wanted to move her hand to take Bellamys but she couldn't the straps tight around her wrist. Bellamy was staring down at her like he was waiting for her to say something, and Clarke could tell his resolve was slipping; it was now or never. Clarke closed her eyes, taking in a large breath. Her mind was a mess and at this point, she wasn't sure she could even string a sentence together. The screen lit up again, revealing Clarke sitting on the ground look up at the sky; earth. Clarke knew right now she didn't have the words to convince Bellamy, but maybe back then she did.

_ "Bellamy, it's been...2043 days since Praimfaya," Clarke said, holding the radio up to her face as she looked out across Eden.  _

Bellamy's face completed shifted, his mouth slowly dropping open. His hand slipped from Clarke's arm as he twisted his head to look at the screen. 

_ Clarke bit her bottom lip, rolling it between her teeth. She looked over her shoulder to see Madi playing in the woods behind her; giving a smalls smile. "I keep doing this and I-I keep thinking someday you'll reply but...you never do." She sadly said, her eyes casting down to the ground. She pulled at the loose thread on her jeans, "I try to draw, to try to remember what you look like; you're hair, your eyes, your freckles." Clarke gave a small smile, the corners of her lips twitching up. "God I sound pathetic, for once I'm glad you can't hear me," She tried to joke, shaking her head.  _

Clarke could see the side of Bellamy's face, one corner of his lip twitching up; a smile.  _ The smile fell from Clarke's face as she looked up to the clear sky. Clarke rapidly blinked her eyes, trying to keep them clear. "But I wish you could, there's- there's so much I want to tell you, and now...now I don't know I'll ever get the chance," She said, breathing out a shaky breath. "Part of me hopes that you can hear these but just can't answer..." Clarke wanted to believe that, that Bellamy was sat up in the ring listening to every word she said. "If that's true...if you can hear me, Bellamy..."  _

Bellamy watched the screen intensely, stepping closer as Clarke paused on the screen, seemingly thinking about what she was going to say.  _ "...Then I need you to know that-that you are my best friend and I wouldn't have survived down here without you, none of us would." Clarke echoed the words that she had told him before Praimfaya, "That even though I know you don't believe it, you are good, and kind and-and" Clarke took a steadying breath, her hands tightening around the radio call. Clarke knew that if she didn't say the words now she never would, Clarke looked up through glassy eyes, "I-I love you," She finally confessed, her voice quivering. _

Bellamy staggered back slightly, his face coming into view again. For a second Clarke believed she saw a small smile. Bellamy's hands clenched next to him, as he swallowed hard. _ "and I wish I could tell you that to your face, that I could hold but I can't," Clarke cried, shaking her head as tears poured over the edge. "I wa-need you to know the thought of you coming back, that's what keeps me going," Clarke said, managing to calm her nerves, her voice steadying. Clarke held the radio close to her face, her fingers shaking as; like she always did, she waited for his reply. There was silence across Edan as if everything fell quiet and was waiting with her. The wind picked up, the trees rustling above her. Clarke slowly put the radio down next to her, trying to not to let the overwhelming disappointment drown her. _

_ "Did you get an answer?" Madi asked, coming to settle next to her. _

"Madi," Bellamy quietly said.

"Does she hold the flame?" Bill asked, stepping forward.

Clarke tensed in her seat and used all her resilience to keep her memory focused. Even though Bellamy couldn't see her, Clarke's eye's pleaded with him, hoping by some miracle he would say nothing.

"No," Bellamy quietly said. Not even looking behind to see Clarke's face; his instinct to protect her. Clarke sighed trying not to relax too much as she had to keep her walls up. In the distance she heard Bill say something, exiting the room in frustration; ordering Bellamy to obtain the key. 

_ Clarke looked over at Madi, wrapping her arms around his shoulder. "No Madi, I didn't" Clarke softly said, resting her chin on his head so she couldn't see her tears. _

_ "I'm sorry," Madi said, wrapping her arms around Clarke, "I'm sure he knows...that you love him," Madi finished.  _

_ Clarke smiled, looking up at the sky, hoping with all her heart Bellamy was sat on that ring, smiling and telling her he loved her too. "I hope he does," Clarke wished.  _

The screen flickered and static appeared as the memory ended. 

Bellamy slowly turned back and walked towards her, staring down at her as tears blurred her eyes. "Loving you was what kept me alive," Clarke finally admitting, her voice catching in her throat. Bellamy's eyes frantically scanned her face, before he squeezed his eyes shut tight, a tear escaping his eye and tumbling down his face. Clarke watched as he opened his eyes, all the emotion that was there having gone again. Bellamy stepped back from her, as the other guard came up the stairs standing in front of Bellamy and staring down at Clarke.

"No, no Bellamy please!" Clarke sobbed, feeling like she was watching him die all over again. 

"Shut up and tell me what happened to the flame," the guard yelled, Clarke could feel the walls in her mind-breaking, sweat pouring down her face. Clarke cried out in pain as she tried to pull the memories back and pushing them deep down. "This machine will fry your brain if you don't show me, you'll break, they all do," The guard spat. Clarke closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on keeping her memories safe; keeping Madi safe. "Your choice," The guard said with a sinister laugh. 

He turned around and headed down to the control panel, reaching out to turn up the machine. Clarke squeezed her eyes tight preparing for the torture that was about to occur, focusing on anything that wasn't the flame and Madi. It was then Clarke heard the guard yell, Clarke opened her eyes to see that Bellamy had pulled the gun from the guard holster. Before he could react Bellamy knock the guard across the head, rendering him unconscious, crumpling on the floor. Clarke just stared as Bellamy looked down at the guard, dropping the gun on the floor before heading over the machine. Bellamy studied the system for a second before pressing the screen, the pain in Clarke's head immediately subsiding. Clarke gasped as the pressure left her mind, Clarke went to sit up in the chair when Bellamy was crouched in front of her, Bellamy reached out to cup Clarke's face when Clarke recoiled for a second. Bellamy's eyes welled with tears, a few spilling out as he shook his head. 

"I'm-I'm so sorry Clarke," Bellamy wept, his hands hovering over her. 

Clarke started to push herself off the chair, her head spinning as she did, "It's okay," she gasped.

"Not it's not I-I hurt you," Bellamy said, staggering back from the chair.

Clarke started to swing her legs over the side of the chair, a nauseous feeling growing in her stomach. "I'm okay," Clarke said again, trying to convince him and herself. Clarke looked up, all the emotion on his face was back, his eyes wide with guilt and anger, "You're back, you're safe" Clarke sighed, the relief washing over her. Clarke went to stand from the chair when her legs started to give way making her stumble forward. Bellamy reached out and caught Clarke.

His arms wrapped around her arms holding her steady, Clarke looked up at his worried face, "You're hurt," he whispered, his voice tainted in sadness. 

Clarke shook her head, reaching her own arms up to place them on his shoulders. "You were alone on a planted and needed something to believe in okay, this isn't your fault." She tried to assure but she could see it wasn't working, his eyes unable to meet his eyes. Clarke placed one hand on his cheek, trying to look him in the eyes, "You need forgiveness, I'll give that to you-" Clarke started but Bellamy just shook his head, looking down at the floor.

"Don't," He croaked 

"I meant what I said, in those calls Bellamy," Clarke continued, her arm resting on his neck. "Nothing will or has changed how I feel about you," She confessed, feeling as another tear fell down her face. Clarke had spent six years wanting to tell Bellamy how she felt, to see his face.

Bellamy looked at her, his eyes narrowed and glassy. "How can you say that," He asked, his voice full of doubt. 

Clarke smiled, "Because it's true," "Because despite all this I know you were doing it because you thought it was the right thing to do," Clarke pleased. "You were trying to save us all," Clarke could see her words were having little effect on Bellamy, his face the perfect picture of regret and remorse, "You protected Madi-,"

"I didn't protect you," He croaked.

Clarke moved her hand from his neck to again stroke his cheek, the smile still on her face, "Yes, you did," Clarke gave Bellamy one final smile before moving back from Bellamy, her legs feeling stronger. Clarke headed down the stairs and picked up the gun from the floor, slipping it into her belt. Bellamy came to stand next to her. Clarke gave the room a finale glance, "We need to go, before he wakes up," She headed towards the door when she felt Bellamy grab her hand, pulling her back to face him.

"Clarke wait!" He said. Part of Clarke worried Bellamy had changed his mind but then she looked in his eyes and knew that her friend was back. Bellamy took a large breath, still holding onto her hand tight. "I-I didn't hear those calls when I was on Skyring-" Bellamy started, looking down at the ground.

"I know-" Clarke replied, placing her other hand over his to comfort him.

"But if I had..." Bellamy swallowed, licking his lips. Clarke looked up at him, her eyes never leaving his face. "I would tell you that the only reason I am-am kind and good is because of you," He said with a smile, reaching up to wipe the sweat from her forehead, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Clarke smiled at the familiar action, looking down at the floor. Clarke went to tell Bellamy they had to move when he continued, his hand still lingering on the side of her face. "That even though for those 6 years I thought you were-were dead, I never stopped thinking about you," Clarke felt her smile grow, as did her tears. "That you are and always will be my head and heart," Bellamy took a small step closer to Clarke, causing her heartbeat to raise, her lips suddenly becoming dry, "and...and I would have told you that I love you too," Clarke felt her breath halt in her throat, her lungs incapable of taking in any air. Bellamy gave an almost relieved smile, his shoulder visibly untensing.

"Bellamy-" Clarke all but gasped, the corners of her lips rising up her face almost to her eyes.

He released her hand, bringing it up to cup her face, cradling her face in his hands. "I always have..." The broad smile on his face dropped a little, "I know you said that six years ago but-"

Clarke frantically shook her head, reaching up with her own hands to cup Bellamy's head, "Nothing has changed," Clarke smiled. The pair stood face to face in the large white room, there's hands cradling each other's faces with large smiles. Clarke was looking up at Bellamy, his eyes; although a little older, were still as kind as they had always been. Bellamy's eyes scanned Clarke's face, his eyes pausing on her lips for a moment. Clarke couldn't help but do the same, noticing how the corners of his lips tugged up to a smile. Clarke flicked her eyes up to Bellamy's eyes for a moment, Bellamy did the same to her, their eye's locking. Bellamy leaned forward slightly, pausing for a moment like he was unsure, Clarke flashed a small smile before leaning forward to close the gap. Clarke felt her whole body go warm as their lips crashed together, Bellamy's hand weaving into Clarke's hair. Clarke felt herself reach up on her tiptoes to deepen the kiss. After a moment; maybe seconds, maybe minutes, Clarke wasn't sure getting lost in the embrace, they pulled apart. Clarke had thought about this moment hundred of times and not once did she ever think it would happen, that she would be able to hold him,  _ to hear him say he loved her too. _

Bellamy rested his forehead against Clarkes, "Let's go save our people princess" He said. Clarke smiled, pulling her head back from him, to reveal his own smile. Clarke nodded, Bellamy dropped his hands from Clarke's face and she already missed them. They were still stuck on bardo, Bill still wanted the flame and their friends were still prisoners but Clarke could feel the hope returning in her chest as she looked at Bellamy; her best friend, the person she loved, the person that loved her. Together they would win, they always did; _the head and the heart_ together.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this! I'm hoping to write more Bellarke soon so any prompt feel free to leave below or on my Tumblr - @alexmaanes


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